A reflection
““You are never alone–find a reflection.””
I’m sitting in a chair 35,000 feet in the air, watching my wife sleep. People are talking, relaxing and yup, doing crossword puzzles. Looking around at them, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. For years this would have been an exercise in holding back waves of panic.
But now?
I just got up and calmly went to the bathroom. When I got there, the guy in the mirror was smiling.
It’s important to celebrate small victories, to be grateful for every step in a healing journey. Once there was a time I would have wished the plane would nosedive for 20 seconds or so, just so everyone else could get a taste of what I was experiencing. Instead, I’m using my toolbox, ‘dropping my armor,’ remembering that, ‘nobody’s coming,’ playing Solitaire, and actually enjoying (!) the flight.
About ‘nobody’s coming’… I’m the only one experiencing this anxiety, and so I’m the only one who can do anything about it. I’m totally alone, except when I went to the bathroom, I saw that guy in the mirror, and realized he’s got my back. He reminded me that the thoughts might be scary, and bring bad feelings, but they’ll pass.
In the Q&A session after every talk, someone asks a question that reveals inner doubts. Healing starts with believing that you can heal. You can overcome whatever fears and doubts you have, however long you’ve had them or how deep you feel them.
I’ve been there and here I am, flying all over this beautiful country, talking and educating to many through my own experiences dealing with this beast. And I hope with all my heart that if you suffer, you will someday trust your reflection. As a business owner, I often returned to the saying that “ the best coach is a mirror.”
Enjoy the journey... that person in the mirror is telling you to!
–Brian