Don't Fear Fear Itself
In her article for the Anxiety and Depression Association of America Why Anxiety Should Not Be Feared, Bethany Teachman, PhD says, “ It is time to stop dreading anxiety.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Dr. Teachman goes on to say, “As a clinical psychologist, I teach my clients that anxiety is uncomfortable but not dangerous….Even high levels of anxiety are not themselves imminently harmful; a panic attack does not cause a heart attack.”
If you’ve ever heard one of my talks, read one of my books, or even spent a little time on this blog, you’ll know that I have a tool to remind me of this: Drop your armor.
Dr. Teachman describes how anxiety, in all its forms, controls too many people’s lives. They give it way too much credit. I should be clear that I’m not dismissing fear. Real fear keeps us out of harm’s way. But when you avoid situations, or future plans, because you were once overwhelmed with anxiety, that’s a sign that you’re giving anxiety too much control over your life and it’s time to ‘nip it in the bud.” (Side note, to learn more about the difference between healthy, life-saving fear and anxiety, read Gavin deBecker’s The Gift of Fear.)
Another part of Dr. Teachman’s article that sounded familiar was how ‘testing’ yourself isn’t the best way to defeat The Beast (that’s what I call my anxiety). I wish I’d read her piece years ago, because I used to test myself constantly. The most extreme test might have been when I drove my boat miles offshore and killed the engine, just to see if I could keep it together. I was trying to overcome these horrible feelings and fight, fight, fight!
I took that boat out into the ocean with an “I’ll show you” mentality. It didn’t really solve anything. This was my approach for years, never knowing that it was a mental disorder. I just thought I was alone and going completely insane–until my day of reckoning. After I’d learned that I simply had a medical condition called ‘anxiety,’ I was able to start approaching things differently.
As Dr. Teachman says, “we can get back up even if something doesn’t go well.” For me, that’s ‘Drop your amor.’ I will not have a heart attack. It will not kill me. It will be uncomfortable, but I won’t let it dictate my life. Sometimes that’s easier said than done…but have faith.
A case in point–last year I flew to Europe for the first time with my family. I started having all the negative thoughts…but I let it come. I dropped my armor. I remembered that anxiety feels terrible, but it’s never killed me before, and it won’t kill me now. I calmed down. The plane took off, and I lived life on my terms, not anxiety’s. We had the trip of a lifetime.
I can’t recommend Dr. Teachman’s article highly enough. Whichever phrasing makes the most sense to you, mine or hers, these concepts really do work. Don’t be afraid of fear, and go live a great life.
Be well,
–Brian