Toolbox: The Rubber Band Effect

Rubber-band Effect: The beginning of my Toolbox

If you’ve seen my live presentations or have read my books, you've heard me talk about my emotional toolbox. This is the set of psychological strategies I came up with on my journey of healing and learning to overcome extreme anxiety, aka “the beast.” I use them whenever anxiety flares up and for me, that is strongest when speaking in public.

The tools in my box are effective, but it can be hard to remember to use them when I’m in the grip of fear. That’s why one day I decided to wear a rubber band around my wrist, and snap it every time I had a bad thought or self-doubt. Your mind wants to reject physical pain and I associated the pain of the rubber band with those horrible thoughts. As an agoraphobic, I can have a lot of bad thoughts in just a few minutes!

I went through many a rubber band in the beginning but over time, slowly, my snapping went from hundreds every single day to hundreds a week. Now when I go on stage to present you will see me wearing a stretchy band. Even though the snapping is (mostly) over, the still band reminds me right before I step on the stage to utilize all of my tools.

On this blog, I’m going to share all of my tools with you. But please remember: it takes time, just like a diet, or fitness plan, or learning any new skill.

It is difficult in the beginning, but if you want to change your thinking habits, it does work. For me, that has meant going from crying next to my toilet when I had to leave my house…to speaking to thousands. Hang in there–you can do this!

In case regular rubber bands aren’t your thing, you can also try a stylish silicone band.